Weighty matters

If urates were gold, my tortoise parents could have my vet bills covered for life!

When I said I outdid myself last night by drinking and expressing my bladder so it flushed out the urates, I was not kidding. Those urates must weigh a lot because I weigh 116 grams LESS this morning than just two days ago. Yikes! Who knew a bladder flush could add up to so much weight? (4 common ounces)

So it's obvious there's a lot of variation in my weight depending on what I've been up to. Back when I was tube feeding, a meal would equal 100 grams. And to keep things simple, so could a healthy poop. Equilibrium!

Well I'm not upset about this weight loss. Losing urates is a very good thing. Two years ago I was hauling around a bladder stone that Dr. Johnson said accounted for 1/10 of my total weight. Shudder. So I think flushing out 4 ounces of urates last night is a very good thing. I have to work hard at it because Dr. Johnson says some tortoises, especially urban tortoises, tend to make bladder stones. We don't know if it's diet, access to water or just genetics, but now that we know I have that high risk factor, we stay on top of it with soaking to promote bladder flushes and check-ups with Dr. Johnson. He can actually feel stones when they're smaller and remove them without invasive surgery. My goal, of course, is to not form another stone if I can help it. So I'm a soaking/flushing tortoise now. Who says a tortoise (of a certain age) can't learn new healthy habits? You can see what I'm trying to prevent here.

Did you know that tortoises don't drink standing water? That's why we come out if there's a chance of rain. Oh we love rainwater! We'll sip it right off the patio or when it collects in the grass. And then we store it in our special bladders that take in water from the mouth and from the cloaka. When rain comes so infrequently in the desert, it's a handy thing to be able to tank up from both ends!

The rest of the time we get water from our food and store it all until the next rain. That's why picking up a tortoise in the wild can kill them as they will flush their bladder in an attempt to protect themselves. Then the bladder is empty and they might not survive until the next rain. They don't get to soak like I do.

Grazing again!

It's been a very hot, tough couple of months and I haven't felt perky enough to graze on the grass in the yard. I either didn't come out of the burrow at all for days on end or I just sat under the Little Leaf Cordia and nibbled on dried flowers. My tortoise mom picked Desert Willow flowers for me, which I love, but that's not enough food for an adult tortoise. So I haven't been blogging and I hadn't gained any weight at all. My tortoise mom was really worried. She even coaxed me into eating a little romaine and kale while waiting for Dr. Johnson to call back last week, but he said they don't offer enough fiber so that ended that. My best bet is eating grass which has the right amount of protein, vitamins and fiber to pack on the pounds for hibernation.

Anyway, I started feeling better in the last few days and I've been coming out of the burrow to eat grass again. My tortoise mom was so happy when she found out I had gained 30 grams in just two days. Finally some progress and normal eating behavior! I know I have to tank up so they'll let me hibernate outdoors again this winter. No one wants me to have to stay indoors all winter again. So I'm eating again, but much slower than Tortellini, so I stay out in the yard longer to make up for it. She, of course, is at an ideal weight and lack of appetite has never been her problem. In fact, if she went shopping, it would have to be at Tortoise Shells Big & Tall.

Dr. Johnson rates my weight at 2.5 on a 1-5 scale with 1 being way underweight and 5 being very overweight. My goal is to hit a "3", the healthy weight, again. I haven't been at that weight since the bladder stone surgery almost two years ago. So I'm working on it!



Last night my tortoise mom gave us some strawberries. Oh what a treat! We smacked our beaks and savored every mushy bite. By the time we were finished eating, we looked like toddlers who got into their mom's lipstick. But we sure were happy!



Tonight I outdid myself when I let my tortoise mom know I needed a drink by sniffing at the ground and following her. So she filled my soaking pan and I went right to work drinking water and expressing my bladder to get rid of urates. Usually I fight the soaking pan, but not tonight. No more bladder stones for me!

By that time it was late and I was so tired I was literally dragging my shell as I lurched along heading for bed. I decided to sleep outside, tucked under the edge of some yard equipment instead of going back inside the burrow. I'm weak but I'm feeling better. I finally feel like grazing again, and that's really good news.

Monsoon Tortoise

It's too hot!! Seriously. Tortellini and I are making mad dashes out to eat a little but then we rush back to stay cool in our burrow 99% of the time. It was 115 degrees here this week, but not in the old burrow. It's cool, dark and comfortable in there all the time--very important for us cold-blooded critters who can only manage our body temperature by changing our surroundings.

I finally got my birthday salad on one of my forays out into the yard. Mmm, I love those desert willow flowers, and kale is a tasty treat. But this is all I got as Dr. Johnson wants me to tank up on grass this summer. I got a big drink of cool water too but I nixed the soaking. When I'm feeling stronger I can climb out of my soaking pan in record time, and I splash the water out of the pan with my final kick. You know how I hate soaking.



Since I'm not coming out of the burrow very much right now, here's a poster from Arizona Fish & Game. I could have been the model for this poster in my pre-surgery days, before I got the dip on my head from being so sick (muscle loss). Oh the good ol' days, when I had strong hind legs and that youthful glow. But don't worry, I've had enough of needles so I won't be getting Botox or any tortoise "enhancements". I'm just happy to be staying cool in the old burrow right now. Tortellini isn't hogging up the whole place either as we wait for the monsoon to bring cooler days and rain puddles to drink. Oh how we love coming out in the summer rain. I sure hope the monsoon comes soon.

Meanwhile you can download your own poster with great tips here.

Today is my birthday!

I know a lady doesn't usually tell her age, but I'm very proud of turning 46 today. It's the same as 46 in human years, so that means I'm in the prime of my life! And I'm delighted to share my birthday with a very special girl who likes to peek into the burrow and take photos. Maybe she'll grow up to be an exotic animal vet like Dr. Johnson?!

I didn't exactly get my birthday wish. Dr. Johnson called last night and said my blood test results had improved in some areas but the White Blood Cell count and lymphocyte levels indicate inflammation. Not the best news. And if I keep losing weight, I'll have to get some invasive tests (endoscopy on the abdomen) at the beginning of August. I don't like the sound of that one bit. Meanwhile I still have to get weighed and soaked weekly, so it's obvious I'm still on the rehab list.

You know, I've been through a lot and my health has improved so much since the surgery -- good looking scales, alert eyes, pink tongue, green beak -- but I guess I have a way to go still. This sure has been a long recovery.



We're going to celebrate my birthday later as I didn't want to come out of the old burrow today. I scooted in there and decided to stay a few days as it was 109 degrees today and will be 114 or more tomorrow. Excessive heat warning = Hunker Down! So Tortellini and I are snoozing in the deepest, coolest, darkest part of the old burrow trying to stay cool. It's too hot to eat, which might explain why I'm losing weight. Or it could be that unexplained inflammation. Anyway, I'll come out again when it's even a few degrees cooler. I hear there's a birthday salad with my name on it.

Room Two with Dr. Johnson

It's been a busy few days getting ready for my big check-up with Dr. Johnson this morning. I've been eating and weighing and pooping and soaking. And I outdid myself this morning by pooping in the yard and in my travel box once I got to Arizona Exotic Animal Hospital. I knew exactly where I was as I remember all the sounds and smells, so I was really paying attention after getting weighed in, and then I decided to do my tortoise business right in my travel box while I was waiting for Dr. Johnson. Perfect timing! The good news is my fecal test came out good, with no parasites or other signs of disease.

Here I am, ahem, concentrating on the job at hand in my travel box:





Dr. Johnson was glad to see my green beak, which means I've been eating grass. In fact I've only been eating grass, no treats or supplemental feeding with lettuce. And I think fruit has been purged from my memory a la "Men in Black," because I need to get my fluids from drinking and soaking in water to flush my bladder. I don't want any more bladder stones!





I had a pretty good check-up, and Dr. Johnson called me a "testament of persistence." Yep, we never give up around here. He pronounced me alert, with healthy looking scales (no Botox for me!), a green beak and the inside of my mouth and tongue look pink and healthy too. But my hind legs are very weak, and I've been losing weight since my highest post-hibernation weight of 3590 grams back in April. I weighed 3456 grams 5 days ago, 3339 grams yesterday and 3230 this morning. Whoa! Even lots of pooping doesn't explain that. So Dr. Johnson rated me as slightly underweight and then he ordered blood tests to check my calcium and other levels just to see what's going on with me. My blood work hasn't been totally normal since my surgery back in September 2009, which could mean a reproductive problem (lady issues), but we were hoping that normal hibernation last winter would help balance things out. Cross your fingers and toes that it did, ok?

So I had a busy morning and then I slept in the new burrow all afternoon. Dr. Johnson that I could be losing fluid and being less active with less appetite since it's so hot now. I'm hoping that explains it. I don't want any more medical procedures!! I just want to be a normal tortoise living in my back yard, hanging out with Tortellini in the old burrow. It's so deep and dark and cool in there that we are very comfortable.

Dr. Johnson will call with my test results in the next few days. My 46th birthday is Tuesday and all I want is a good report. That would be the best birthday gift of all!!!

Playing Musical Burrows

I'm playing a game with my tortoise mom and dad. When they see me heading for the old burrow after eating, they put me in the new burrow. I humor them by staying in there a while, sometimes overnight, but then I skip out and go back to the old burrow. Once I'm in the old burrow, good luck on getting me out. Meanwhile, I've turned the tables and I'm giving my tortoise parents lots of exercise. Oh this just delights me!



But in the middle of this elaborate musical burrows game, I'm eating. Since Friday I've gained 87 grams! So I'm up to 3456 grams as of this morning. And I was very cooperative about soaking in my little blue pan too. I did my 30 minutes with no complaints, and then I ate some new globemallow leaves on my way back to the old burrow. But my tortoise mom snatched me from the entrance and put me in the new burrow in hopes that I'd come back out to eat this evening. Which I did. But, like I said, I went back to the old burrow. Then tortoise dad mowed the lawn and then put me back in the new burrow, which is where I am right now. Oh the madcap life I lead!

I'm feeling better all the time. Grass tastes good and so does the globemallow. I haven't been well enough to eat these things since long before the surgery for my bladder stone (September 2009). The weather is heating up and that revs up my metabolism too. I am getting better and better! I sure hope Dr. Johnson thinks so too. I have to see him for a check-up this Saturday. You know what that means: Road Trip! I like my travel box and I don't mind riding in the car one bit. I wonder... if they put it in the new burrow, would I work so hard to go back to the old burrow? I don't know. My tortoise GPS says the old burrow is home. And you know what they say about that: There's just no place like it.

True Confession

I have to confess that soon after my last post, I faked out my Tortoise Dad while he was doing yard work. I was innocently sunning myself, or so he thought. But I slipped past him and climbed into the old burrow with Tortellini and I've been tucked in there ever since. Oh sure, they've dragged me out to weigh me a few times, but I just go right back into the old burrow and snuggle in my favorite corner. Happy, happy!

There was an Easter Egg Hunt in our yard and one of the cute hunters risked her new Easter dress to take this photo of me inside the burrow. You can see I was keeping on eye on things, but no way would I come out, no matter how many flowers she put right under my nose. Anyway I didn't take the bait, but Tortellini did.



Since I've been dug in so deep in the old burrow, I haven't come out to eat or walk much lately and it shows. My weight has dropped off in the last month, and my hind legs are weak. So, as of today, I'm back in the new burrow and my tortoise parents/personal trainers have put me on a strict exercise and grazing program. I ate grass and walked twice today. I drank a little water too. But I also hissed which is what I do when I'm not fully alert so then I startle easily. I guess they're right that I should be active by now. After all, it's June. Prime tortoise grazing time. If I don't get out more, the lizards will take over. Seriously, there are three collared lizards in our yard. I don't mind because they don't eat grass or flowers. They just hunt bugs in the grass, which is fine with me. I guess I'll be hanging out with them more now. But I'd really like to go back to the old burrow. It sure is dark and cool and that makes me very sleepy. Oh, I'd better not think about that right now.

So it's time to wake up and eat the grass. I haven't been strong enough to eat grass since long before my surgery, so it's good news that I'm chomping down on it with such gusto now. I need to do a lot more of that so my head muscles will get stronger again too. Plus I get my weekly soak. I hate to soak, but it does help flush my bladder of any urates that have collected. It's not pretty but I sure don't want another bladder stone. An ounce of prevention...

Cacti WiFi

Sorry I've been AWOL for so long. This hibernation THANG sure cramps my blogging style as I'm underground in my snug little burrow (the new one which I customize as needed) lo, these many months. Anyway it's hard to get a good Internet connection in here, what with all the good dirt insulation. But my Tortoise Dad just fixed me up with Cacti WiFi so I can check in more often.

Here I am getting some quality beauty sleep. If you look real close, you might see a little drool-- I'm just that relaxed. I hope this gives my scales just what they need. It was no fun having them drop off last winter when I got so sick.



But as soon as I hear my Tortoise Dad digging me out to check my weight, I clamp right down to protect myself from would-be predators. But of course my Tortoise Mom practically sings to me so then I don't hiss in fear. Anyway, they weigh me every 2-3 weeks to make sure I'm not losing weight, which could be a sign of illness. So far, so good!! Here I am doing my best to look like an empty shell.



They weighed me on Saturday, but I didn't see my shadow, or actually anything, as I squeeze my eyes shut too when I'm pulled out of my burrow. So for whatever it's worth, it will be an early Spring. Which is hard to imagine as I hear it was 26 degrees in our yard last night. But thanks to my well-insulated burrow, plus extra warmth added on top of the wood and foam blocked entrance when there's a freeze warning (Christmas lights tucked under a blanket), my burrow is staying between 53 and 55 degrees--downright balmy!

They weigh me on warmer days so I won't feel a big temperature shock coming out of my burrow. Then they put me right back and scoop the dirt back around me, all in just a couple of minutes. It happens so fast I sometimes wonder if I was just dreaming. If so, I still like the singing. Zzzzzzzzz

X-Ray Vision

I had to go to the vet again yesterday for an x-ray to check my lady parts, just in case eggs were blocking my reproductive tract and raising my blood calcium levels so high. As you can see, there are no eggs showing, only a few of those pesky urates destined to be flushed out soon. If you look closely you can see the seam where Dr. Johnson cut a trap door in my shell to remove the bladder stone a year ago. Since it's on the flip side, I think I'll skip any shell rejuvenation methods. Besides, I earned that seam the hard way!

I did find out there's no such thing as Tort-O-Pause, so my body will produce eggs for the rest of my life. As I get older, I'll produce fewer eggs, but my ovaries won't ever get time off for good behavior. Imagine 100 years of producing eggs!

Since my x-ray didn't show a clutch of eggs or Chilean miners or Barbie shoes or anything like that, I will get to hibernate outdoors afterall. This x-ray was The Ultimate Decider. But I'm hearing talk of making me stay in the new burrow all winter so they can check my weight every two weeks to make sure I'm surviving hibernation in good form. I'm not thrilled with this idea, as you know how I love the old burrow which is now dug part way to China (Hi, Dr. Lu!) But it's so much better than spending the winter indoors like last year, even if it was cool to celebrate all the holidays I usually miss. But maybe they'll decorate the outside of my burrow while I get my beauty sleep all winter. Oh I should be a real looker by next Spring!



I'm already looking a lot better with a green beak, pink tongue and alert eyes. Plus I'm cruising the whole yard and checking in at the drive-up patio door just like Tortellini, although she's not as ladylike as me. If I don't get out of the way, she climbs right over me. Somehow it feels like all is how it should be though. That's just how Tortellini rolls. She's a tortoise on a mission while I'm always more social and gracious. If they x-rayed Tortellini, they might find the Energizer Bunny in there.

Room Service

I'm just a tad spoiled rotten. My tortoise mom has been providing room service so I can eat any time I climb out of the burrow. Now that's pretty nice!

The weather has been wild this week. We got such a huge storm on Tuesday that my tortoise mom had to wade through water to rescue me. I thought I'd sleep next to the fireplace chimney where it makes a good corner to tuck into for the night, but the rain started pouring down hard, and then it hailed on me too! I tucked into my shell but was suddenly so cold and miserable that when my tortoise mom waded out to check on me, I just looked up at her like "help!" So she grabbed me and waded back to put me in the house. Tortellini was already tucked in where she was high and dry, but I got caught out and then I was too cold to walk through the cold water. So I got to spend the rest of the storm in my travel box in the house. I never even moved as I was just that cold and tired from the storm.

The nights have really cooled down lately, so we finally get to sleep out in various corners of the yard and patio. But then we have to warm up in the morning before we can walk around like usual. Here's Tortellini doing her warm-up routine for the day. She sure likes to soak up the sun on her tootsies.



We've been acting different all week. It's like there's a calendar printed on the inside of our shells and we know exactly how many days have passed since autumn started. So we're eating more aggressively and at different hours of the day, plus we're exploring every inch of the yard, including the fence. Well, of course, we are. We know it's only a matter of days before our metabolism slows way down and we'll start hibernating so we're doing last minute preparations, like packing for a long trip.

I haven't figured out how I'll blog during hibernation. Maybe I'll have to send up messages like those poor miners in Chile.... They are not meant for hibernating so I hope they get out soon, all safe and sound, like me in the storm.

One Year Ago

Here's how life was for me a year ago. The bladder stone grew so large that it split my bladder in half and I was unable to eat enough so I also developed fatty liver as my body tried to survive at any cost. I had surgery to remove the stone and it's been a whole year of critical care nursing, feeding tubes, PT, a few scares with infections, rehabilitation and relearning to feed myself. After all this time, I thought I was out of the woods.

But Dr. Johnson just called with my latest blood test results after the trek to his exam room last Saturday. It turns out that I have elevated lymphocytes and calcium which could mean a reproductive tract problem. So Dr. Johnson wants another x-ray next week to look for blocked eggs. I didn't even know this was possible. I'm 45 years old. Don't I get ever to "enjoy" Tort-O-Pause and skip this whole egg-production business?

Meanwhile I'm really gearing up to hibernate. Not too interested in food but I do come out of the burrow to check out the yard. When I try to eat, my heart just isn't in it. It's been 106 degrees all week but we tortoises go by seasons rather than temperature for hibernation. Anyway our body clocks are more accurate than any calendar. We know how many days it's been since the autumnal equinox. It's like a giant switch gets flipped on the tortoise metabolism.

I'm trying not to think about it but I did hear Dr. Johnson say the results of the x-ray will decide if I can hibernate indoors or outdoors. And if the x-ray shows no eggs blocking my reproductive tract, I still won't get to hibernate in the old burrow. Now that is hard to take!!!! But the new burrow is shallower which makes it possible to pull me out once a month to check my weight during the winter. If I stay in the old burrow, which of course is my favorite, they can't check on me to make sure I'm not losing too much weight or getting too weak to survive the winter.

So stay tuned. I hope the next x-ray shows a smiley face and permission to hibernate outdoors this winter. If I'm not well enough, I'll have to hibernate in a box in the garage and then be weighed and SOAKED every month all winter. Now you know how I feel about soaking..... Ok I'm trying to think positive about all this. But really, I'm very disappointed that I didn't get that clean bill of health we've all worked so hard to get for a whole year. But we just have to wait and see. I wonder what the new x-ray will look like? Maybe a really happy bladder? I'm still grateful. I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't have that surgery and all this TLC. For a whole year. No matter how you look at it, that's pretty incredible.

Eat. Graze. Poop.

My tortoise mom dragged my tortoise dad to a movie, and then talked about what a tortoise version of it would be: "Eat. Graze. Poop." Yep, that's what we tortoises do. There's no mad search for anything but treats coming through the patio door, and enjoying our own backyard. And then of course, there's the end product. Ahem. We like to do that by the patio door. A lot. I guess it's just what happens while we're waiting for the "drive-up window" to open and our tortoise mom magically appears with our favorite salad for the day.

We've been really tanking up this week. When the temperature drops even a little and it feels a little stormy, we come out of the burrow earlier in the afternoon because we don't have to escape the heat like usual. So we've really been putting away the groceries. In the process, we've been hanging around the patio door a lot. Tortellini is especially good at using her shell to "knock" on it. But she's the acrobatic one. She managed to flip herself over this week from trying to climb the fence. She has always done that so my tortoise mom is always checking on us, especially when we're more active just prior to hibernation. September is a busy month for us. We don't need a calendar to tell us that Fall started yesterday.



You'll notice the my tortoise version of the movie isn't "Eat. Soak. Poop." Sorry, Dr. Johnson, I still hate soaking!!! But I'm first out when it rains, or I drink when the sprinklers fill the tree well. What can I say, I like fresh, running water. So I even sat in the lawn sprinklers to get a big drink the other day. I know I need to get big drinks to flush my bladder so I won't get another bladder stone. And I'll have my annual check-ups so if I do get one, it won't be a boulder and require major surgery and a whole year (and counting) of recovery. So, ok, I'll grit my beak and soak. If I have to. I guess.

Late Show (flash photo)

Lately it's been 110 degrees during the day, with the sun going down when it's still really hot. So to compensate, I've been coming out of the burrow when the sun is completely down and then eating after dark. It's not exactly "by the light of the silvery moon", but pretty close. I have to do this because I'm still a slow eater due to my weak biting muscles. The top of my head is looking better but I still don't have well developed jaw muscles like I used to, so I can't dive out of the burrow for a quick bite and then dive back in again like Tortellini does. I think she might have invented the concept of fast food. She definitely thinks the patio door is a drive-up window.

So my strategy is to head straight for the little leaf cordia to eat all the tasty white flowers that have dropped during the day. I like them when they're fresh and I also like them when they've dried up a bit. So I eat as many as I can, moving along like a four-legged vacuum cleaner. When I look up, I usually have white petals stuck on my face, but hey, there are no napkins out here!

Then my tortoise mom shuttles salad out to me for the main course. The cordia and desert willow have grown so much lately that she has to squeeze in between them, and usually ends up with crawly little bugs on her, but they don't bite. The ants on the ground do though, but I'm very well protected with my scales.

I've been extra busy eating this week, coming out every evening just before dark. My body knows it's September, time to really store up calories for the winter. Also I'm getting my pre-hibernation check-up with Dr. Johnson in just one more week. I need to "top off the tank" so I can really impress him with how much I've improved this summer. So I'm working overtime on my pre-hibernation tortoise business. When I get weighed and soaked this weekend, we'll see if I've earned my time and a half.

Monsoon breakfast

I woke up this morning to clouds, a breeze and some sprinkles. Wow! Perfect grazing weather! Then my tortoise mom brought me a new treat: kale. I really chowed down on it, plus all the little leaf cordia and desert willow flowers and some romaine. Mmm, I was smacking my beak. I must be getting better because I'm interested in more foods now. Kale is harder to bite off and chew but my improved chewing muscles did the trick. I'm still not eating grass but maybe that comes later?



About the time I thought it couldn't get better, it started raining. Oh how I love the summer rain! I stayed out for two hours, drinking rainwater and munching my breakfast under the little leaf cordia bush. What a great day! Perfect tortoise weather: not too hot and not too cold. Just right for enjoying a gourmet breakfast. Oh I am happy as a .... tortoise!!

Clean Lawn Club

I'm trying to look ladylike here, but really I've been an eating machine for the past week. If there's even one raindrop, I come out to look for water and then I eat until it's almost completely dark outside. What can I say, I'm a slow eater. But I am eating!! And it shows too.



The muscles on the top of my head look a lot better, without the big dip on one side, so I'm more "level-headed" now (my little joke). In fact, when I was playing peek-a-boo under the reed shade on the new burrow yesterday, my tortoise mom didn't know it was me at first because my head looks so much better now. It must be from all that serious munching on my leafy greens. AND -- drum roll, please, I weighed 3521 grams today. Woo Hoo! That's a new record since my surgery last September. But I've been working hard, eating every chance I get, climbing up and down over hill and dale....



I'm a tortoise on a mission to be strong and healthy enough to hibernate this winter. Dr. Johnson, I think you'll be proud of me when I come in for my pre-hibernation check-up next month. In the last eight days, I have been coming out to eat at least once a day and sometimes twice. And I stick around until I've joined the Clean Lawn Club. Truly, I don't leave a speck of food that my tortoise mom gives me.

I know it's still 110 degrees, but I can tell the light has changed and it reminds me to chow down before winter. So all of a sudden, I am really hungry. I also remembered my old trick of thumping my shell on the patio by the back door to get my tortoise mom's attention so she'll bring more food. I always dump the dirt off my shell when I do it, leaving a shell-shaped outline of dirt on the patio. Pretty funny. And Tortellini is really good at it, so they keep a little broom by the back door to sweep away tortoise leavin's. We leave other little calling cards too, but I'll be ladylike and leave it to you to figure it out.

All in all, I'm getting downright perky now, feeling more like myself than I have in YEARS!! Life is Good!!!

Hunkered down

It's too hot. Not even Tortellini is venturing out of the burrow for long. I know it's August, but it's really hot right now. So this is all you will see of me most of the time.



It hasn't rained since last week. It's amazing how I always know when it's coming so I come out and wait to get a drink of water in the puddles that collect so fast. It's like I'm a Hardshell Weather Station. But right now all indications say: Hunker Down.

I'm due for my pre-hibernation check-up next month, so I hope we get a little rain to cool things off. Then I can come out to eat and drink at the all-you-can-eat backyard buffet. If I don't weigh enough, I don't know what Dr. Johnson will say. I sure do NOT want to spend another winter indoors, even though it was quite a culturally uplifting experience last winter. But you know how I feel about snuggling in the old burrow for the winter. It's the BEST!

Garden of Eatin'

This is my favorite corner of the yard to eat. The new desert willow tree drops sticky sweet flowers that the ants love too. But the best part is I get to "vacuum" up all the white flowers from the little leaf cordia plus sit in its shade to eat the salad that my tortoise mom brings me. Dr. Johnson says I need lots of leafy greens to build muscle. Anyway I'm eating with more gusto now. Sometimes I'm so busy eating that I'm startled when my tortoise mom brings me more food. I know, I know, that's not like me to startle like that, especially because I always know her voice.



I'm a very lucky tortoise to have a yard with two burrows, plus there are no dogs or cats to flip me over or hurt me accidentally. And this yard doesn't have a pool which is really important. My brother Charlie drowned at our old yard even though the pool had a two-foot wall built all around it for tortoise safety. But one day Charlie found his way over it anyway and he drowned. We still miss him. He was quite a character and patrolled the yard endlessly and made sure any workmen knew he was in charge. But no one knew he could use a prickly pear plant like a bridge to get over that two-foot pool wall. And then, of course, tortoises and pools never ever mix. Did you know we don't have vision that tells us how deep the water is? So he probably thought he was getting a drink or something. I don't know. I just know everyone cried a lot and we still miss him. Charlie was the father of over 30 baby tortoises that were adopted out through The Tortoise Society, so we hope they are marching around supervising all that's going on in good, safe yards now. No pools. Not even a solid two-foot tall fence was good enough to save Charlie. And don't even get me started on what our dog accidentally did one time.....

Grandma (r) and brother Charlie, circa 1986


But things are ideal for tortoises in this yard: very safe with all edible plants and shrubs and even some grass. Tortellini loves to eat the grass first. She grazes just like a very short cow. Come to think of it, I'm glad there are no cows in this yard either!

Rain Dance

My tortoise mom woke me in my burrow this morning so I came out to eat little leaf cordia flowers and lettuce for two hours. She didn't make me soak either, so it was a good morning. You know how I feel about soaking: Get me out of here!



Then tonight, just at sundown, it started raining. Hard. It woke me up and I came out of the burrow for a drink of fresh, cool rainwater. I stuck my head right in a puddle in the gravel to get a nice, long drink. Mmmmm, what a treat to have cool rainwater instead of sitting in that soaking pan.



So maybe the monsoon is finally here. It's been so hot that I don't want to come out of the burrow morning or evening so I still need prodding. But the weather changed today and I took full advantage of it to chow down and have a nice drink. Life is Good!

Tour de France Tortoise?

My tortoise mom is all excited about Paul the Octopus who accurately predicted the winner of the World Cup so now she's wondering if I can predict the winner of the Tour de France.

It's too hot and I don't want to come out of my burrow. Please don't make me choose between photos of Alberto Contador and Andy Schleck. I'm just a simple tortoise and the only racing I know about it is how Tortellini puts away the vegetation and then sprints back to the burrow. Oh, she's fast, really fast. Who says a desert tortoise can't cover a lot of ground in a hurry? Did you know we can walk 7 miles a day? And if there's any red fruit or flowers involved, you might be surprised at how fast we can move. Chomp, chomp!!



It's so hot that I almost wish I was one of these red-eared sliders my tortoise mom and dad saw on their vacation. They look very cool, don't they? But tortoises can't swim so we have to do the underground burrow thing to manage body temperature instead. The burrow is always at least 20 degrees cooler than the outside air. I like the old burrow best because it's deeper so the temperature is even more comfortable. It's like a dirt thermostat!

Summertime, and the living is easy

Despite the scorching heat, and being left under the watchful eyes of my favorite sitters, I managed to gain 20 grams while my tortoise mom and dad went on vacation. They were careful to soak and weigh me, and even hand fed me the morning they left just to make sure I had a good start to the week. Then last night when they came home, they got me out of my favorite burrow (the old one, of course) to check on me. My tortoise mom had been a tad worried so she got me squared away while the car was still being unloaded. Anyway, it was all good news: I get Gold Stars for gaining a little weight while they were gone, and for chowing down like I was at an all-you-can-eat buffet last night, even though it was past my bedtime and still 106 degrees outside. I ate until it was pitch dark, then headed back to the burrow for some sweet dreams. Life is good!

Thanks to the best tortoise sitters in the world for making sure there was a steady supply of high protein treats left in the grass and under the littleleaf cordia every day. Of course, Tortellini greatly enjoyed this too and was waiting at the patio door for someone to deliver the goods at 7:30 last night. That Tortellini makes sure things happen! She even stands on her front tippy toes to INSIST that the treats keep coming. Last night she got the few desert willow and hibiscus flowers that weren't already fried by the heat. That's fine with me. I'm still on my low-carb, high protein diet to rebuild muscle. I've got a long ways to go to rebuild my hind legs and jaw muscles. But it's summer, and that's the best time for me to recover well enough so I can hibernate this winter. Can you see how well my neck has healed from the feeding tube? No turtlenecks or plastic surgery for me. I'm a good healer!

My tortoise mom tells me there's a really special tortoise in Santa Barbara who never hibernates. He sleeps on a heating pad in winter and eats Trader Joe's salad every day. Oh, and he weighs SIXTEEN pounds. Whoa, that's almost twice my size!!! Here's the really cool thing about Harry: he's been passed down through family and friends for nearly 100 years!!

Maybe I'll dream about Harry in Santa Barbara. He's a super survivor too.

Party on!

Well the fun just never ends around here. I've gotten so many nice birthday greetings, plus a friend wrote me a birthday poem:

A tortoise at 45
Will help you be happy and thrive
Give her some greens
But please hold the beans
So she won't toot and give you surprise - Eric Laubach

And now Arizona Exotic Animal Hospital has added my photos and blog to their FaceBook page. So I'm getting even more fun greetings and maybe some new fans!

With all this encouragement, I'm doing my part to gain weight by turning my beak green, which means I've been chowing down on the green and leafies which I really need for the high protein to rebuild my muscles. As of Monday I weigh 3406 grams, so you can tell I'm doing my best. And I'm gulping down water all by myself too. Especially now that's it's so hot here, I really enjoy a long, cool drink.



Ok, you can see I'm really getting into this--there's even salad on my head! Plus I'm starting to eat a wider variety of foods, a very good sign of recovery. Now how much do I have to eat to catch up to Tortellini who tips the scales at 3900 grams AFTER hibernation..... Hmmm, carry the one, subtract 4 from 9 -- calculating -- Whoa! I'd better get busy. That's a lot of grams!!!!

Wow, I love all my birthday greetings!

Thank you for all your best wishes and greetings and encouragement as I continue my recovery from surgery. It's so fun to hear from you!

The wonderful vets at Arizona Exotic Animal Hospital are even adding my photos and blog to their FaceBook page. Check it out! I am so delighted because I wouldn't even be alive if not for the excellent care I get there, especially surgery and umpteen follow-up visits, including a few emergency trips. Thanks, too, to great neighbors who happened to be home to help drive me when I needed it most!

So I am one lucky tortoise, and I'm realizing just how rich I am in friends and people who care about me. That makes my birthday even more special, and encourages me to always do my best to gain weight and rebuild my muscles. I've been doing a good job at regrowing the scales that dropped off around my eyes, so I don't have reverse raccoon eyes anymore. See?



But I need to work harder on turning my beak green by eating more greens instead of just cordia flowers. But it's easier to bite flowers since I'm still missing so much muscle that powers my jaws. See the dip in the top of my head and my skinny leg (a little tortoise cheesecake)?



But I'll keep trying to eat more and get stronger. Just for YOU! Thank you so much for caring about me and helping me recover.

Free at last!!

I woke up this morning to find that the barricade came down! So THAT is my extra special birthday surprise! Wow! I can hardly believe it! I marched all over the yard, climbed the new burrow, and sniffed the entrance of the old one. Yep, it's really true: I am FREE AT LAST!!!



I am amazed that I am free to go in the old burrow. I wait and wonder: Am I still dreaming?



Then I explore the top of the new burrow, just to compare.



I also got a special birthday salad with a pink candle in it. Cool! I am loving this birthday business!! Who knew turning 45 could be so great?!!



After a soak and a snack (gained another 64 grams!), guess where I'm going? Yep, the old burrow still does it for me!!! This is my best birthday EVER!

It's my birthday!!!

Not every tortoise gets a special cake for their 45th birthday!! But then who else has a "tummy tuck" like mine?





I am one lucky tortoise!! I get all this TLC, a new burrow, hand feeding and - best gift of all - a new lease on life!! At 45, I'm in the prime of my life and could live another 40 or 50 years!!

But I hear there's one special present waiting for me. I wonder what that could be? I guess I'll have to dream about it tonight.....